Thursday, 17 November 2016

Starting over

Ok so there is no fashion in this post I'm afraid and definitley no inspo. I'm ready to divulge again, hope you don't mind.


As you may have read, I separated from my husband back in the summer and I'm finding the whole starting over process quite a struggle. Both my boys are now in full time school and my plans to get a job and possibly start a career are not quite going to plan; In short, No one will hire me!


 "Oh I think I will get a little retail job" was my response when people would ask me "What are you going to do with yourself when both the kids are at school?" REALLY not that simple. Don't get me wrong I knew having not worked since I became a Mom 8 years ago, (because I was lucky enough to stay at home) I would have to start from the bottom but I didn't think I would find it this much of a struggle. To be told that I'm not a "desirable candidate" to stack shelves is something I never thought I would have to face. I thought I was safe and secure, that I may actually be able to persue some dreams; I had to get a full time job right out of school because I had rent and bills to pay from the age of 18 due to my parents moving away so I don't have any qualifications and then I became pregnant with Fin at 21 but luckily I was able to stay at home from then. The idea was to try and push my blog or start a business from home; A personal stylist (dream job) or childrens interiors or handmade products; I can use a sewing machine I'll have you know. There are so many inspirational women I follow on Instagram who have started their own business's and I would really like to follow in their footsteps and persue a dream rather than get a job that I hate which I fear is going to end up happening. I would rather make less money and love what I do. I really want to be and do something that I'm proud of but I'm feeling the pressure massively since becoming a single Mom and need to start something soon!



Maybe I was naive, maybe I shouldn't have depended on my husband for so long, but at the time it seemed the right thing to do was to be a SAHM and it worked perfectly. But life isn't perfect and nothing goes how you ever expect it to and now I'm full of regrets "I should have done  more"... "I could be something or be someone now". I don't want to sound whingey- those choices were mine and I made them and now I need to deal with the repercussions. 
I suppose I'm writing this because, quite frankly, I don't know what to do. I had such a lovely response from my last "deep" post that I'm hoping there may be some advice out there, other than from a computer screen. Real people who have found themselves at a crossroads like this. I don't mean to bring down the mood on my blog as this is a little happy space for me but I guess I'm just reaching out. I feel like I'm sinking a little and I can't sink because I have two little people who depend on me very much and I don't want to let them down, well not any more than I already have. 

How do I start again? 

6 comments:

  1. I love your blog and follow you on ig. I think you're fabulous and strong. Maybe take whatever job you CAN get, keep your other head on doing what you love and try to keep the momentum moving forward, never looking back and seeing even the smallest progress as just that - progress. Keep trying hard for what you want and deserve and know that you deserve it and feel that it will come. I know the most rubbish practical advice! But sometimes just staying positive in light of the reality does help.thank you for being honest and reaching out. I'm a real person and I am wishing you the best during this low ebb. I think you'll come through eventually as the star that you are. xxx

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. xxx

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  2. It's ok to feel vunrable the best thing you can do is talk about it. I can guarantee there are thousands of women who have also been in your position and talking to them will give you pause for thought and hopefully some hope. Life is a rollercoaster. One day things can be bliss and perfect and the next come crashing down. Just know things will come right. Your path in life will become clear. Just have hope on your darkest days. Trust me we've all been there. Keep strong lady. Love Jodee xxx

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    1. Hi Jodee thank you for the lovely comment, its very much appreciated xxx

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  3. Jo, if you ever want to do styling then do get in touch. I recently retrained as a makeup artist and we are often looking for stylists to come on shoots. You could give it a try and see how you find it? My email is l.lerego@gmail.com if to want to get in touch xx

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    1. Hi Louise, this sounds amazing and thank you for the message. I will get in touch. xxx

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